Monday, November 30, 2009


I am just plain having a hard day. We received some more bad news yesterday in relation to the kids and their mom. (I worked very hard right then to restrain myself from adding a colorful adjective before the word "mom.")

I cried several times yesterday and this morning, and I do have to say that I am so thankful for the restorative power of tears. My sister always says she suspects that women's tears must be an outlet for some of our pent-up hormones. :) I think she might be right, because a good cry always makes me feel better.

This weekend of tears started when we watched "Marley & Me" Saturday night. (I had never seen it.) Being a dog lover, I always cry when the dog dies -- so, of course, I cried. Sure, the tears were about the movie dog, the four dogs I had growing up, the dog I have now (and the thought of someday saying goodbye to her)... but they were about more than that. They were about childhood memories and family dreams. I can't even begin to list the number of personal images brought to the surface by that movie.

Right now, I am in the process of creating a new family with C. and his kids, while trying to maintain the close connection I have with my parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nephews and other extended family. I am also holding fiercely to the dreams I have for what out future family will be.

As with everything in life, reality rarely matches the expectation or the preconceived image. Tears are nature's gift for grieving lost expectations. Tears allow you to release and hopefully let go, which is necessary for embracing life as it is rather than life as you dreamed it would be.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Weekends and traditions

C. and I had the most refreshing, relaxing weekend. We helped his mom move on Saturday, which wasn't the most fun -- but I am happy to see her getting settled into her new townhome after more than a year of house-selling/house-hunting stress. I think it will be a great community for her, and it will be so nice that she has her own space now.

After the move, we relaxed a bit at home and then went out to dinner at a pretty little cafe called Bliss. The food wasn't great, to be honest (their chocolate mousse was just barely beige -- not sure how they could even call it chocolate) -- but that didn't matter. We split a bottle of wine. We talked. We laughed at the cheesy band -- a "classic rock duo." We flirted. It was just so nice to get out of the house and enjoy a different venue (sans kids).

Sunday morning, we drove up to Evergreen and had a late breakfast at the One World Cafe. Spinach florentine crepes for me and a pork breakfast burrito for C. Delicious french press coffee. Yum. Again, the change of venue was just so nice.

We spent yesterday afternoon lazing around on the couch watching football and the "Next Iron Chef" finale (Chef Garces won - boo!).

I am at work today, and it is my only day in the office. Tomorrow, I will take Jonah* to the museum (he is off school all week) and we will be getting ready for the Thanksgiving celebration at C.'s sister's house on Thursday.

I am looking forward to celebrating with my new family, and I am looking forward to creating new holiday traditions with C., and with C. and the kids, this holiday season.

Love grows in moments like these.

* Name changed.

Monday, November 9, 2009


C. and I enjoyed our first kid-free weekend in more than month this past weekend, and it was wonderful. There's nothing like spending some quality one-on-one time together to remind you why you love your spouse.

We went out on a real dinner DATE Saturday night and then saw friends at the roller derby bout.

I even cooked a real meal last night, and we ate dinner in the dining room on our wedding china.

For those of you who have kids -- go on a date! I'm telling you, it works wonders. I know I am new to having kids around, but I already am a big believer that couples need time alone together, without the kids and without talk of the kids. The kids will be better for it, as well, because they get parents who feel refreshed and energetic and who are strong in their love for each other. I think that's the best gift you can give a child -- a warm, loving home environment and a good example of what healthy love looks like between adults.

So, some of the many little reasons for my big love for C.:

- He's funny. He keeps me laughing all the time.

- He can be really serious, as well - it's a good balance.
- He's a good friend. He makes time for his friends and truly cares about them.

- He has great taste -- in food, music, clothes, books...
- He believes in constant growth and learning in life.
- He's hot. ;)
- He is just a good, good man - and I am lucky to be his wife.

I am glowing today, and I am so thankful to have had such a great couple of days with my husband.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Music in the morning

As I was getting ready this morning, my 8-year-old stepson was blasting classical music from the CD player in his room. It reminded me of sleeping in too late as a teenager -- my dad would blast classical or opera to wake me up, and my mom would fling open my bedroom door and vacuum. :)

I'll take the classical from Jonah*. In a few years, I'm sure he'll be blasting hip hop or death metal.

*Names changed